take me to the sky

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"You haven't seen a tree until you've seen its shadow from the sky." — Amelia Earhart

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take me to the sky

Tuesday, September 11, 2007 School and Decisions and all other things

1:14 am

I'm feeling kind of stressed now, or rather I was, but managed to talk myself out of it, and when I get stressed I inadvertedly think of the decision I made, and whenever I think of that, it brings me back to Robert Frost's poem The Road Not Taken.

The Road Not Taken

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

When Miss Phua first introduced the poem to us in sec1, didn't think much of it at all, cause I was quite sure of things back then and was quite happy listening to my parents and allowing them to make my decisions for me. I wonder when I learnt to think for myself, and learnt to want things from myself that are not in line with what they wanted for me, or thought was best for me. But as I read the poem now again, it really makes so much sense.

Come to think of it, if I were to go back to when I received my posting to SC, my parents were disappointed to some extent that I didn't get into an IP school. But they told me don't worry, you can try the IP schools in sec 3, and back in sec 1, I told myself I was gonna get out of here after sec 2. Never did I think that I'd actually have rows with my dad over wanting to stay, and it's really quite true that "way leads on to way", and more often than not we don't ever get back to doing that something that we told ourselves we would do.

Sure, told myself that I'll go to RJ if I get in, but honestly, i've been having second thoughts. Again, "way leads on to way", things just happen and somehow you just don't want to start all over again. Maybe if I was the commitment-less bummer I was last year, there would've been no problem (damn since when did I start to care, all Mr Yang's fault), but ggggod, I need to learn to stop this.

DDAMN.