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Haagen Dazs (: "You haven't seen a tree until you've seen its shadow from the sky." — Amelia Earhart
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Sunday, March 18, 2007
For those of you close enough, you guys would probably know what I'm talking about, for others, this would just be random rantings, so go away if you don't want to read it. I make such decisions because I don't want to have children, and have to put pressure on them to fulfill my dreams. I know what that feels like and I don't like it. I think I've said this time and time again, just because your dreams didn't come true, I don't think you should put mine or anyone else's down as impossible or otherwise. We are 16, 17 year olds, let us have the faith of others our age, let us hope, and be the hope. You probably think you know what's best, and you probably do, but sometimes, "it's better to break a man's legs than to break his heart". I hope that you're not doing this just to go through the motion, to attempt to put an end to all this. Because rest assured, if you're doing that, i'll make sure I wreck enough havoc in my life that you'll turn back again. But for the time being, I choose to have the faith that you're doing this because you genuinely want us to be happy. I guess all I'm trying to say is, stop forcing us to grow up so fast. Do you realise that rubber bands snap when you stretch them too much all of a sudden? I hope you do. I don't deny that you've given me a great deal and i should be grateful. I am grateful for all that you've given me, but you have to realise that I can't live my life for you or even do something that I don't like for you, because then I'll lose all sense and direction when you're gone. I can force myself to look happy for these 4 years, it's good training to take shit after all, but how far will it go? You can't expect me to trust the decisions you make now, not after this. I need to learn to take responsibility of my own life, and you have to learn to let me. pardon the angst. i just need to get it out. and a pile of holiday homework plus a dropping CAP doesn't really help. :(
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